Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Obsession with Forever

Vampires, Fairy tales, Romantic-Comedies, Chic-lit romances, teen romantic novels they all have one thing in common, that is, the 'Promise of Forever', the 'Happily Ever After'. Teens or even adults these days are obsessed with the larger than life romances. And billion dollar franchises feed on this obsession. Children grow up reading fairy tales which often convey the message that at the end true love will last forever and the lovers will stay together forever. I'm not against happy endings or fairy tales. I'm not anti-romanticism either.

But ask yourself that do these conditions or this tag of forever necessary!!!
Do we need to put a timeline?

There are all sorts of relationships in this world which have their own dynamics. One can't really compare them. Love is one thing that isn't quantifiable. Also relationships have phases. So is it possible that every relationship will last forever? The answer is no. Not every relationship can last forever. On the contrary, many relationships, though of a short time-span, have depth far greater than the ones which have had a long run. Sometimes the passion fades in the long term relationships but it might replace stability, a quality which is no less important.

I like to think of this world as a pond. And of us humans as stones which are thrown in it. Our lives are the ripples which are created when the stone hits the surface of the water. These ripples interfere with other ripples in a similar manner like our lives interfere with the lives of the people around us. So in the same paradigm, love can be thought of as the force which propels those ripples. Initially when the stone has just entered the pond, the ripples are more intense and so is our need of love in the form of passion. But as those ripples fade and stability sets in our needs also change. We value the quiet. 

So what do we ultimately seek? Longevity or Depth?

There is no correct answer to the above question just like there is no bad art. It's just about what suits you. However, I don't think that putting the condition of forever before every relationship is right. Sometimes love lasts a lifetime but lovers don't. So be charmed by the "forever and always" but don't expect every relationship to fit in that paradigm.