Saturday, August 4, 2018

The Last Good Day

Relationships often start and end without warning. They are bonds which often take years to develop, however, sometimes all it takes is a sentence to end them for good. All that is left behind is memories, of good times and bad, of times when you really felt lucky that you met the other person and of times when you question the very judgement of befriending that person. In all of this, there is often taht one moment, that last moment just before the downward spiral starts, when everything is still good, even better than usual. That is the last good day. It is only in retrospect do we recognize that day.

The last good day is when everything is as it is suppposed to be. There is calm and peace, just like moments before a storm. However, it is impossible to distinguish this as any different from the other days. I recently lost a friendship (friend is fine, just not a friend anymore). I still remember the last good day. It was a party. A special party for him. Both of us went out with a group of our friends. We sta in a toy car and surprisingly fit in! We kept sitting there and talking crap till the guard shooed us away. We ate a lot and stayed out all night. I still fondly remember sitting with him in that park talking about life and death (yeah, not realy party topics, but....). I will always remember the twilight when we walked home. I don't know if it was real premonition or just me conjuring up stuff, but when we stood outside my house and he said goodbye, I had a feeling in my stomach. I can't really explain it, but I knew it was probably too good to be true. I really trusted him and what happened afterwards really shook me as a person, I took a while to come back from that. He was someone who I thought really understood me, at least the part of me I let him see. Alas, in the end, it was too good to be true...... I really need to fine tune my judgement of people and character.

He now exists only as a memory and a lesson for me. Nothing more. Probably less. When I see him today, all I feel is regret. But I don't think I can regret that day. It was the last good day.

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